The selfish wall

I came to this curious field which had this wall running through the middle of it. The wall was ten feet high and from what I could tell three feet thick. It was solid and smooth, painted with the most beautiful colors that I could ever have imagined, which called to me in soft warm words, “come and sit, you are welcome, I will listen” I look to the left and to the right and see nothing but the wall running as far as my eye can see. What can I do, but look at this wall that stands in front of me? Why should I do anything but what it says? The colors are inviting, the motion they give are as a blanket to wrap around me with the warmth of summer. Sitting down, I faced the wall and started talking. What compelled me to? I am not sure, but I just know that there was this, draw there, pulling me to do what I was doing. The morning turned to noon and the noon past along too, but as the sun gets lower in the sky I start to notice something. . . My words are starting to pile up on the ground in front of the wall, not all of them mind you, but only some. I keep talked as I lean forward to my knees and then inch forward to see as a couple more of my words hit the wall and fall to the ground before it. Confused I rose to my feet and asked the wall, “Why do my words fall before you?” But yet even those words hit the wall, bounced off and floated to the ground in front of the wall. Struck silent in my confusion, I bend down and scooped up the words to see which ones fell. It wasn’t those that talked about the beauty of the field that the wall was blessed to be in, or the glory of the sun as it shone down on us through the day. So what were they? I looked closer and it was the ones that meant the most to me?! On the ground were the little pieces of my broken heart… the things that I told the wall that hurt me . . . it dropped them?
I won’t open my mouth again the words will only hit a thick wall of self-righteousness! Unwilling, unwanting, uncaring hard wall of indifference. The paint on the outside says “come”, it says “welcome”, it says “I will listen.” I would tell you how much I hate you, but why waste my breath, you would drop them too. “I will listen”? Fuck you wall! You think you can just ignore my feelings? You think you can just take what you want out of the relationship and not think about how that makes me feel!? Well fuck you!

The anger burns within me as even the “fuck you”s hit the wall and float to the ground… I pick up the broken pieces of my heart and walk away. The sun sets.

I left the “fuck you”s praying and hoping that they will grow and the roots would break down the wall and the welcomes will actually mean something.