God you are trying to speak to me, please don't stop or let me forget. Do not close my ears to your words, but open them and help your servant along. God I get done with my meeting with Juan to read in "Searching for God knows What":
"I have this suspicion, however, that if we are going to get to know God, it is going to be a little more like getting to know a person than practicing voodoo. And I suppose that means we are going to have to get over this dear of intimacy, or whatever you want to call it, in order to have an ancient sort of faith, the same faith showed by all the dead apostles"
How else could it be that I would pick up that book, to read that after what Juan and I have been talking about?! Explain it away you could, but she said that my excuses are exactly that and nothing more than excuses!
Then again as I lay in bed, and I can't sleep, I hear Juan's voice screaming in my head, "Jerome, Shut up and do it!" So I got up and opened my Bible to the place marked by my tourniquet (I wonder if there is symbolism there?)and start to read and as I read I come to the end of the chapter, which reads;
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)
What are you trying to say... Correct me if I am wrong but I think that you are trying to say get off your lazy A$$ and run!!! Am I right? Why does it seem so much clearer now? The story of the man pushing the rock comes back to my mind! Why am I questioning when you have asked me to just keep pushing the Rock!? God why am I being so stupid? This all seems so simple now! Your not asking me to figure it all out like a giant math problem, but all you want is just to be my friend and we grow to love and understand each other in time... Patience... Trust.... Compromise, but me to you and not the other way around...
God you are too good for me! Blessed be the Name of my LORD, My God, My Savior, My GRACIOUS FATHER!
No comments:
Post a Comment